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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Pretty sure if he asks you why they act they way they do, and you say, 'Take a guess.'  That will suffice.  [b]Your presence is throwing off his radar.[/b] [/quote]

OP here:  I do worry this is the case.  This man is banging his head on a brick wall and he takes my presence as a sign that there is hope.  SIL just wants someone good looking who will let her stay home to marry and isn't concerned about how this will all turn out for the guy.[/quote]

You never know.  My friend married into a family like this.  Her husband said if his parents had issues with her, he had issues with them.   He hasn't spoken to them in 5 years.  With good reason.  They were horrible and toxic (I knew his family before they met).  Frankly I'm surprised your Dh wants to keep them in your lives and expose your children to that.   Maybe your SIL will be smart and stay with this nice guy and cut her parents off. [/quote]

OP here:  DH adores his parents, but I am actually the one who has wrestled with myself in order to keep them in the picture.  They are good parents to DH and are also very loving to their grandchildren.  I probably would not be part of the picture in their ideal family photo, but I am a big girl.  I can take one for the team so that my husband and kids can have relatives who love them in their lives.  They do say a lot of idle, ignorant things and as my kids get older, I know I will need to address this.

The problem with this guy is that he does not have sufficiently "redeeming" traits in their eyes (to make up for his race).  So, I suspect they will never come around with him.[/quote]

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