Reply to Has anyone's child "come out" but later realized they were straight?

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Has anyone's child "come out" but later realized they were straight?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our 15 yr DD recently came out as gay. We fully support her in whoever she is and chooses, however, I'm not sure if it's "real" or just a byproduct of going to a small, liberal, arts school where everyone seems to be bi, gay, transgender, pan, a, etc. We are very close, and I just never had the impression she was gay. However, with my sister for example, I suspected from a young age that she was. Curious if anyone has been through this and their child ended up hetero afterall?[/quote]

You're probably going to get some mean responses so I'm glad I'm the first to weigh in. My SD could have gone to the same school as yours. Exact same scenario (except she came out as bi). Agreed that it makes no difference  to me or her parents what her sexual orientation is. But I've known her since she was 11 (just starting to like boys, had crushes, asked me about boys ALL the time). In 9th grade she started at her new school where all her friends (and I do mean all) were either gay, bi, gender-fluid or pan sexual. Within a few weeks of hanging out with them she came out as bisexual.

She's mostly had boyfriends, a few girlfriends who seemed more like buddies to me than girlfriends (though it could just be that those girls were less physically affectionate in public with her than her boyfriends were). Anyway I know her pretty well and think she just really wanted to fit in and have a "tribe" in high school (she was bullied and didn't have a lot of friends in middle school). Again, either way it doesn't matter but I think when she goes off to college or after she graduates or whenever she ends up finding a life partner, it'll be a straight relationship.[/quote]

OP here. This is our situation completely! I've heard her talk about boys for so long, this statement from her really through me for a loop.  I wonder if it is the same school. Thanks for sharing your experience. We'll just continue to support her and see what happens.[/quote]

PP here. It's funny because sexuality is clearly a sensitive topic that needs to be handled with kindness and empathy and without judgment. I think what your daughter and my SD *maybe* are dealing with is less a matter of their sexuality being along a continuum or being fluid and more an issue of wanting to fit in and being in an environment where being gay/bi/trans/fluid/etc is cool. If it's the same school they probably have a big pride day (or maybe pride week?) and openly out faculty and a mission statement that embraces diversity. I think teens - particularly teens who have been bullied or had trouble making friends - need so badly to be accepted and have friends. I've met a lot of her friends and they ARE cool - her teachers, too. I'm not surprised she wanted to hang out with them. Here's the thing: their group of friends has exactly zero straight kids. Sounds like hyperbole, but it's true. Maybe she'd still have fit in with them if she hadn't come out as bi? Hard to say.

To be clear, again I have no skin in the game other than wanting her to be happy and have friends. I just think that she's probably straight, not even fluid with her sexuality. I just think she found a group she liked and wanted to fit in.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics