Reply to Another MIL Wants to Move Closer Thread...Desperate for Help

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Yes it is!  My god.  You would be lying to your wife!  If you don't want to tell your parents they can't stay, then say so to your wife!  Don't just lie and say you'll do it and then flake out.  It's childish and passive-aggressive. [/quote]

Look at it this way....

DW does not want DH's parents to live nearby.  DH thinks it is a good idea.  Yet, DW expects DH to tell his parents that they cannot stay when (a) he wants them to and (b) he disagrees with her.  DW knows this yet still expects DH to carry her water.  And the PP suggests that the DW should give the DH an ultimatum in that scenario.  Welp, I am of the opinion that if DW does not want it and DH does, then DW needs to take the lead and make it known to the IL's herself.  It is obvious that DH does not want to confront his parents on this point for whatever reason - maybe because he disagrees with his DW or he wants his parents nearby.  It is equally passive-aggressive to me to take a strong position about your IL's not shared by your DH, expect him to carry your water with the IL's and come on an anon forum and complain because he is not carrying the water in the way she prefers [/quote]

Then why does he keep saying he will tell them?  He is misleading her into thinking they are in agreement when really they are not.  DH needs to grow up and stop trying to have it both ways.[/quote]

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