Reply to Child with ADHD-- if you decided not to medicate, why?

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[quote=Anonymous]PP 10:46 here. One factor in our decision to medicate our 1st child was our long conversations with my SIL, who raised a teen w/ ADHD. We have seen the boy struggle through the young elementary age. I remember working on a simple reading assignment and he was just not comprehending the simple text that he read. I blamed the school, even the parents, secretly wondered if he could just be a bit dim -- I just could not understand it. He changed schools, and I assumed he was going to be doing better. But no, things were still hard for him. He also had feeding issues -- only white food, no veggies, no unprocessed anything -- and at this point I was firmly blaming my SIL for letting this silliness take root.

When DD tested on the ADHD scale, I finally got the whole story from them. They had a diagnstic early on bt fought, against meds until 5th grade, when they saw that he was really not getting any better. He started meds, was put on an IEP, started to get tutoring and is doing better. The food issue remains, and will be his cross to carry in life. Because of this, he fluctuates between obese and only overweight. He is better able to attend to academics, and is now starting college next year. He has a good understanding of his issues, but that does not mean compliance necessarily. My SIL is constantly worried about depression and has mandated that his college should be within short driving distance from home, and close to others in the family. Untreated ADHD does have profound effects, OP. Power to you if you can ensure your child manages things without meds, but know when to intervene.

Seeing the effect of ADHD on my own children, I am now understanding that the early years of education will not come back. DD is still struggling with focus in the classroom and needs to spend extra time organizing in her mind whatever was taught in school.   She had to un-learn to be ignored in the classroom. She still needs verbal markers to extract important information. Active listening is what we're working on right now. With DS, I am watching like an eagle, to make sure he is able to learn *in the classroom*, not as a 1:1 session with me at home. As long as he can tell me the essence of what they learned, I'm not worried, even if I know he's the designated "runner" that always gets off his seat.

Someone posted that they are ok accepting their children for who they are, and that's ok. But the "inatentive" ADHD usually means that these kids learn to be "absent" and withdraw in their brain for long hours at a time. They learn to be systematically ignored in the classroom. Thay are often mocked by teachers and children alike. And often they end up struggling with depression. That is not an outcome I can accept. Zany -- ok, even encouraged. Lonely and depressed -- absolutely not.[/quote]

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