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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for all these responses. My wife has actually been seeing a therapist for about four years who thinks MIL is a narcissist and has suggested to my wife that she needs to cut her mom off as toxic (at least for a few months, to reset the relationship). My wife has resisted this, saying "she's my only mom and she's not going to be around forever" or "I don't want to short-change DS [with the education funding]". So although she has sought help, she has not implemented what the therapist has suggested. As for me, I have mostly stayed out of it, and MIL seems to restraint herself in front of me (a few times over the years when she has said things involving me I have called her on it). I agree with the poster that said my wife is a grown adult; [b]perhaps all I can and should do is offer my continued support[/b] (it's just frustrating that nothing changes after so many years and it really seems to be a big sapper of my wife's happiness)[/quote]

What about the suggestion that you directly tell your MIL to knock it off, that doesn't fly in your house? When she starts up with the nonsense, tell her you're disappointed that the visit isn't going well and you look forward to trying again next time. [/quote]

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