Reply to Want to continue smoking pot, then we aren't paying for college

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are his grades fine? Has he been in trouble with the police?

If your answers and yes and no, you're being absurd.[b] Smoking pot isn't a big deal.[/b] It will be legal throughout the country before you die, promise.

Just tell him you won't pay any legal bills associated with it and it can't be done on your property.

You really want to destroy your relationship with your son over something this minor? Caz your ultimatum won't work.[/quote]

It is for teens.  It's illegal now and will remain illegal for teens everywhere.  Besides the legality issue, it can also have a detrimental impact on the teen brain.  What's harmless for an adult is not always harmless for a teen.

Occasional use by teens is to be expected.  But if a kid can't or won't stop after his parents tell him he has to, then there is a problem.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with a parent's telling a child to stop engaging in illegal activity.

OP, kids who can't or won't stop regular use of intoxicants often have underlying issues.  Depression, stress, social troubles, etc.    I would first try to figure out if there's an underlying issue.  And if there is, try to address that first, in as non-judgmental a way as possible.  Tell him you don't want him smoking or possessing while under your roof, of course.   At the very least, it's inconsiderate to you and everyone else in the household.  And it can be dangerous if he drives while high.  It could impair his judgment about wise choices regarding sex and unintended pregnancy.  It could impact his friendships and other relationships.  It may become frequent enough to impact his grades.

But I wouldn't take away college.   I'd make every effort to approach this from in a supportive and non-judgmental role.   But also making it clear that his actions impact the household and he needs to understand he doesn't get 100% freedom to do anything he wants without consideration for others.    If he wants to be treated like an adult, he needs to take on not just the adult fun, but the adult responsibilities as well. 
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