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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. They're a 30-60 minute drive away, and though we get along fine, we just don't have much in common and our visits are nothing to get excited about. It's more out of habit at this point, and I don't think I'll want to give up too many more weekend days with both of us working . I'm just not sure how kids might change that dynamic. [/quote]

This is my in-laws too.  I do ask them to come to us a good amount since our baby is still young and napping all the time and it's easier if we're at our home.  My MIL complains bitterly about not seeing us every weekend.  But we both work and weekends are OUR time with the baby too.  We love sharing her, because she's a delight, but we're not going to spend every weekend with my MIL.  Anyhow, it's annoying because she spends most of the visits she does have making comments to the baby like "oh your mommy and daddy don't let you see grandma enough" and "oh you would love to see grandma more wouldn't you?". I wish she'd just enjoy the time she DOES have with the baby instead of constantly trying to guilt us into more.  We have friends, we have my family, and I think we do a really good job of balancing everything.  She is the only one who openly disagrees.

Anyhow, my advice is to be open to as much as you're comfortable with and realize it might change as time goes on.  When my baby was a newborn, having other people hold her "wrong" could literally make my whole body ache.  Hormones are insane.  I sometimes felt my skin was crawling off when my MIL held my baby. It was good for me to ignore the intense feelings occasionally but I also needed to realize it was ok to say no to more visitors if we'd had enough.  Now that my baby is 8 months old, it's easier and I'm much more open to it.  My MIL still drives me crazy, but she can make the baby smile which makes me happy too.  The baby is also big enough and strong enough to let her opinions be known, which helps immensely.  If my MIL is holding her "wrong" she'll squirm away from her.

Good luck!  It can be tricky.  But try to remember it's always a GOOD thing to have people in your life who love your baby as much as you do.[/quote]

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