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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As you know if you follow this issue on DCUM, a particular strain of gun owners will lie to you about this because it's "none of your business" whether or not they own guns. This being not only your sister but you and DH being close enough to them that you're in the wedding party, I think you have earned the right to roll your eyes and say "cut the bullshit" to that explanation. We had a great thread on this a few months ago from a guy who asked his family this every visit and they thought he was an urban liberal jerk that didn't trust them, but when he pushed they were UNLOCKED, LOADED, AND ACCESSIBLE. They at least had the good sense to be embarrassed about it. Truly responsible gun owners know that mistakes happen and will stomach a little embarrassment for the ultimate goal of safety. He was posting asking about how to navigate the gun culture.

Assuming a generally normal relationship--what I would do is drop it for now, and pull your sister aside when you get there and have her show you that they are locked and unloaded. She may resist but play the concerned parent card and say you don't want this on your mind and can she please just show you that everything is OK. She (or her dh) should be able to DEMONSTRATE to you--e.g. by showing you an empty chamber--that the guns are unloaded, and then lock them up in front of you. That is how actual responsible gun owners who give a damn about their family members act.  If you've had ANY arguments about guns in the past, this will likely be very uncomfortable for you all.  The onus will be on you, as the hardass in this situation, to similarly demonstrate that you are not judging their decision to own guns in any way, just ensuring safety. Once they've done it all, thank them profusely and then let it go.

signed, someone who grew up outside gun culture, married into it, and can speak both languages.[/quote]

This is the OP, and I am so grateful for your post! Thank you! I was hoping my DH and I could do this together when we get there. We will have several days before the wedding helping with prep, so I think it will be more effective to have the conversation in person, as you suggest. I am not familiar with gun culture at all, so I appreciate the "etiquette" tips. I want to be respectful, of course, but I am concerned. My children are not used to guns and haven't been raised around them. Their understanding of safe storage might be very different from ours. I also will look into a babysitter for an extra set of eyes.

Thank you for not pooh pooing my post. It is a real situation and a difficult one. [/quote]

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