Reply to 11-yo DS Felt "Bullied" Last Day at Camp

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Reply to "11-yo DS Felt "Bullied" Last Day at Camp - WWYD?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP you're quoting. No, my son isn't that age yet, but I am teaching him that if someone annoys him and that person doesn't stop after he says "Leave me alone" or "Stop", he needs to go to the adult in charge for help.

If he ever squirted water on another kid or messed with another kid's property in retaliation, then he'd be facing a consequence for that.

Would you really be OK with your child behaving like that (meaning squirting water on another kid/messing with their property)? if you do, then we are on completely different pages[/quote]

I would be perfectly fine with a MS kid standing up for himself.  If a some kid intentionally knocked over the water bottle a couple times and my son said "stop it" after the first time, I'd have NO problem if he picked up the bottle, said "you really want some?" and squirted him in the face.  ITS WATER.  Honestly, if your middle school kid is going to run to teachers every time someone knocks over his water bottle, he will become a target more than ever.  What consequence to you think a teacher is going to give?  The kid will say it was an accident or maybe give some half-hearted apology.  Then once he's off school grounds, the behavior will likely escalate.

You need to teach your child to be independent and stand up for himself for times when there isn't an "adult in charge".  Seriously.  If your kid isn't able to stand up for himself over a water bottle, things will escalate into real bullying.  Our kids are in HS, my wife is a teacher- [b]do you really think teachers and school administrators are going to give two shits about a water bottle?[/b][/quote]

I think that the underlying text to your question is: do you think that teachers and school administrators are going to give two shits about bad behaviour?

If they don't, they should. If they don't have time to, something needs to be fixed.

Had I been the person who kept knocking down someone else's water bottles, in my day and age I would have gotten a note written by a teacher in my planner, and I would have had to bring it back signed by a parent the following day. Which meant that one of my parents would have known and would have disciplined me for behaving badly at school. Back then, getting a note by a teacher in your planner was a big deal.

Seriously, it doesn't take that long to tell a child: "I'm going to write a note in your planner saying that you did x, y, z. Hand me your planner now. Bring it back signed by a parent tomorrow. Next time, you'll be sent to the office."

If a teacher doesn't have time to do that, something is wrong with the system.[/quote]

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