Reply to S/o Female Madonna/Whore Mentality

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like OP is simply projecting her feelings of self-loathing onto prospective partners.  She's got these qualities/tendencies that in her own words equate herself with a whore, but she accepts it as just "who she is".
But then she turns around and absolutely despises the same qualities/tendencies if she sees them present in someone she's dating and refuses to accept it in others as just "who they are".

1/2 of the Western world needs therapy.[/quote]

The funny thing is that I really do accept myself.  I do not feel any guilt about my proclivities and I never have.  Even as a child, I knew I was different from the other kids and I was totally comfortable with that.  But you are right, I can't accept the same tendencies in men.

I am not trying to change this about myself.

I am just curious about why I feel this way and if there are others who feel this way too.  Usually, men are the ones who have such madonna/whore mentalities.  You don't really hear about women having the same mentality towards men.[/quote]

Let me ask you this OP...
When you begin dating a guy are you open and upfront about your proclivities or is it something you prefer to keep to yourself and resign to the fact that "he'll find out eventually"?
If its something you keep to yourself then it makes sense why you have a tendency to turn your nose up at guys who are [i]too depraved in my eyes to meet my family and be the father of my children[/i] and it makes sense why the man you've been with for the last two years [i]bores me sexually, but I respect him as a man[/i] - - - basically you're putting on airs of being the sweet "good" girl and have internalized your proclivities.  You've essentially idealized that sweet "good" girl persona and have followed the lead of all those in your family and community growing up who looked down on the perceived whorish girls of the day and you don't want to be chastised and ostracized like them.  So...there's the public  :D OP and the private  :twisted: OP and she wants a husband who is 100% :D  because her status and reputation are on the line.[/quote]

When I was single, I was open and upfront about my sexuality with men who I knew I saw no long term potential in.  I was not open and upfront with men I saw long term potential in because the idea was to get to know them as people first.  Then when I would get to know them and realize they are upstanding men, I would relate to them with the part of me that is the same way or I would relegate them to fuck buddy status, if they were not sufficiently respectable.

I think you are on to something about wanting a husband who matches my status and reputation.

I am estranged from most of my family and don't give a shit what any of them think about anything.  But I have a standard I like to maintain for my own ego and a respectable husband is part of that.  I am pretty sure that I am considered a respectable person by everyone who knows me, even by those who do not like me.[/quote]

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