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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My wife won't drink very much with me these days, so I get jealous if she drinks with other people -- like I'm just the guy she lives with and she has fun with other people. If she got sexually assaulted while she was drinking with others, there would be a part of me that would be pissed at her because it happened while she was having fun with other people while I was left out.  Self-centered, sure. But real feelings. [/quote]

Op here - those are d finitely feelings that my husband was having at the time - he said as much.  Maybe still now. Those are valid real feelings.  [b]do you think you could find it in your heart to say to your wife, and mean it, that she was not to blame?  That you were angry because you miss her and were jealous?  That the people that did that to her are the ones at fault and that what they did was unforgivable?[/b]  I never have heard any of those things from my husband.
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I hope I would. Those are all very accurate statements. Hopefully I could put aside my hurt and focus on her more significant concerns. But I can't say for sure. My insecurity about whether she finds me fun and attractive is probably the biggest Achilles heel in our otherwise excellent marriage. Sex is how I feel loved and our sex life is pretty tepid. So a scenario where our sex life gets messed up even further due to a situation about which I might be jealous anyway would fuel all kinds of toxic emotions. So, doing what I need to do and being a responsible husband could possibly be easier said than done.

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