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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. My mom has early stages of dementia. I am not sure that assisted living is best for her, but also, I am not sure that Medicare would pay for it. Now that her chemo is over, I am in the process of finding a good GP and then getting her referred for memory tests. The thing is, I have very little time to do this, working full time and having children. The week of her appt, in order to take a day off, I have to make up those hours (I need to be billable x hours per week). I have my own appts, too, so you can understand why even getting the right diagnoses in order to get the right services is a strain. I have tried to attend her appts by conf call, but it doesn't work out very well.

PP- what more info do you want? I am a fairly open book. I started work FT at 20 to finish school and paid my way. I have a great job now, but even when I didn't, I never asked my parents for anything big (my mom always stressed me out about money, even as a kid, so I never felt like help was available. The approach was very different with my brother). I had the wedding we could pay for and live in the house we could pay for because that's what was expected. My brother came to live with us for 9 mos (like showed up from out of state) after he took 7 years in undergrad (while my mom paid his rent). shortly after that, my mom moved in. So perhaps, if I am leaving anything out, it is how resentful I am for having others who were disparaging and unsupportive at times live off of me, showing no gratitude.

After moving in, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and my brother chose to work overseas to make tax free money for himself. Neither he nor she paid a drop of rent and I didn't move her out during chemo bc her doctor advised against it for mental reasons (and bc: who does that?). I am just now able to get back to working on diagnosing her memory issues properly and getting other areas of health evaluated and I could use some help with that and other daily duties.

I have no friends who have gone through this and really not many people to speak with about it . DC dept of the aging was so unhelpful. It is all on me and you'd be surprised how little info is easily accessible. So if this was just an easy "stick her in a home" process, we would have done that, really. It's not just a question of if that's available to affordable to her; it's a question about that being what's best as well. [/quote]

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