Reply to stress on marriage from kids and work

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No one should divorce until the youngest is 5.  This was me and my DW when kids were young.  Kids are older now (7 and 4) and we are doing better.   Some good advice on these boards, make sure you communicate your needs and listen to hers as painful as it can be.  Also, babysitters.  Gut it out, see where you are in a year.

For me, hitting the gym a little harder helped with the excess frustration.  [b]Also, getting some affirmation from outside the marriage helped with the rejection from my wife.[/b]

My DW once confided she was jealous of my success (we went to same grad school).  She enjoyed being a SAHM (sometimes) but did miss the public accolades that you get working outside the home.

[/quote]

Explain.[/quote]

Explanation - after the first, then the second kid came, our sex and intimacy fell to nearly non-existence.  Even on babysitter night, the sex was out of duty.  My SAHM wife would much rather sleep, watch TV, be on facebook, anything over sex.  Total 180 from our pre-kid days.

That kind of rejection really eats at your self-worth.  You know you aren't supposed to internalize it, but having years of marriage devoid of passion will eat at your soul (even if intellectually you know it isn't personal).  At least for me, I found that since I couldn't control how my wife felt (towards me, towards herself) I could control how I felt.  Being physically healthy helped.  Having women flirt with you helped.[/quote]

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