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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm going to piss you all off with this response, but I spend a bit of time on this forum and generally avoid the SN page because I find you all so over-involved in your kids that it becomes unhelpful. I have asked a few questions on this forum, and the results are from people looking to find "special needs" everywhere. I wonder how many of you have full time jobs, or if this has become your full time job not out of necessity to your kids but because it provides meaning and purpose to your lives.  Of course some of our SN kids need extra attention than some other kids, but i am a bit shocked at how all-consuming parenting is for some of you. I wonder what some of you are so scared of happening if you didn't dedicate this much of yourselves to them? And at least in our case, we have found that over-helping our kids can be detrimental (for instance, going to therapies and evals is exhausting and stressful - i think the benefits are often outweighed by teh stress). For the person with the 20 year old in college where she still needs to helicopter: at a point, shouldn't you be figuring out a work-around to the fact that your kid can't finish papers? What's he going to do in 2 years when he gets a job?  Maybe he should have majored in math instead, so he doesn't need to write papers?  Maybe he just needs to fail a year of college and end up in community college? Point is (and sorry to pick on that person, but the example really jumped out): when does it end? And if it is never going to end, then why make it a full-time life starting at age 3? [/quote]

It doesn't end b/c these are our kids and we love them and give them what they need. It isn't a question of throwing a kid in the pool and seeing if they can swim. We are talking about something that is all consuming and affects the rest of a child's life (i.e., not just a speech articulation issue that can be fixed with a 6 months of ST). And maybe the kiddo in college needs to finish the paper to get a degree but he is majoring in something else? I'm sure that the parents and the college kid are on top of it. I can totally relate to the OP b/c I feel like I still need to manage my 7th grader's entire life. We aren't in the constant merry-go-round of OT/ST/PT that we were in when he was younger but there are other issues to deal with (primarily social). I read a Huffington Post article recently about letting your kid fail. It wasn't specifically directed at special needs kids but my kid does not study for tests.  I'd rather have him learn the consequences in 7th grade when there really are no consequences than in 11th grade. So I don't harp on him to study. I offer to help but if he rejects my help, I don't push. I don't know what the future will hold for him and if he will be socially mature enough to go to college (and he cannot write a 7th grade paper without a lot of help so I can't imagine him writing a college paper). I feel for the pp with the son in college - it must be so hard. We are hoping for community college or a school nearby with a good special needs program but we have several years to worry about that. 7th grade gives me enough to worry about.[/quote]

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