Reply to Am I asking too much from DH?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't divorce over this if he is otherwise a good dad and husband.  And do NOT ask for an open marriage either. Honestly, you need to find a discreet man on the side who can satisfy you.   No strings or expectations.   He won't know/care, his feelings/pride will be in tact and you will stop obsessing over what is missing in your marriage. This will free you up to remember what is actually good in your marriage.  I know people will flame away but divorce is not the answer here and you already tried counseling. take care of yourself so you can take care of your family and keep it in tact. [/quote]

Sex and intimacy are reasonable expectations of marriage.  If he isn't willing to work on being a reasonably good sex partner, he has abandoned marital bonds.  Either sex is a big deal to him and therefore he needs to work with her on a solution, or it isn't a big deal and he should have no problem with his wife getting sex and intimacy outside of the marriage.

I also don't see how it's more virtuous to split up the family home when the problem may be able to be solved by OP getting something dicreete on the side.  Perhaps her DH will be relieved he isn't being bothered for sex anymore.

Sex and intimacy are reasonable expectations of a marriage but so is honesty.  I feel for you OP but getting sex on the side without DH's consent is not the answer.  Keep up the counseling.  I think what struck me about your post was your complaint of "loneliness".  That, in addition to the other, is a big issue you need to address in therapy.  Good luck.

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