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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have been with my husband for 8 years. We finally married last year. I made the deliberate decision to keep my maiden name because it means a lot to me and I already have a career.

This weekend my father and I had a fight over a lot of built up frustrations. At the end, he told me to change my name because he no longer wants me to have his name. I don't know why this is bothering me. I know that he said it to be mean, but it is really is getting to me.

His problems with me are:
1) He hates that I left home and went to college on the East Coast. (This was me disowning my family in his eyes)
2) He hates that my children are not close enough for him to have a relationship with.
3) He thinks that I love my mother more than him. (Not true)
4) He thinks that I blame him for ruining my parents marriage by cheating. (Also not true)

Why we truly don't have a relationship:
1) He was an absent father
2) He has visited me 2x in the past 12 years. 
3) Every time we talk he tells me how awful I am[/quote]

No matter the age of the child most want the love and approval of their parents. Sometimes that is unattainable. You have a solid list here and one that does give one much hope for a close and loving relationship with your father. The sooner you can simply love him as your father and neutralize any desire you might have to see that list reversed the better you will be for it.

BTW...my impression of his actions seems to stem less from your actions/choices and more from his own guilt. Remember that a person that is unable, or unwilling, to deal with  their own guilt will often try to degrade others to elevate themselves.[/quote]

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