Reply to Would you feel the same way? MIL inviting herself over

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I understand how you feel. I'm very private and have always struggled to deal with in laws, and hate when people drop over.

Now that I'm a new MIL I begin to see the other side. I work hard to keep my distance and not intrude on my son and DIL's privacy and life together, remembering how I have always felt. It's a tricky balancing act, because the mother/child bond doesn't just evaporate.  I know I fumble at times, sometimes being too distant, sometimes too familiar. I just have to hope my DIL will be understanding and forgiving. It makes me a more understanding DIL to my boundary-free MIL.

It doesn't sound like your MIL is a bad person or toxic. It sounds like she has good intentions. She's probably trying to find balance, so she can see her son and grandchild (and you). Look at your child and imagine if someone said you can't see him anymore except under strict, limited conditions. It's not an easy thing to get used to, even when you have let go and they're all grown up and out on their own.

I guess I'm saying it's not easy for either side, so be kind and understanding as you set your boundaries.[/quote]

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