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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]omg will some people never never stop blaming their parents for every goddamned thing it's so pathetic[/quote]

OP, for crying out loud, it's not your parents' fault that you lack social skills.

[/quote]

Well...it's not quite that simple.  You are correct to a degree I think, but not altogether.

My parents had no friends - or very few - and this was because they are difficult people lacking good social skills themselves.  I got past it by getting the hell away from them as young and early as I could.  I was able to make friends, and while I have my own social foibles, I'm a lot friendlier and nicer, and didn't have a lot of trouble.  My parents tried to horn in a little on my friendships, using them as a way to connect with the parents of my friends...who weren't having any of it.  I was welcome in other people's homes; I have three 'surrogate families' I connected with who remain a close part of my life as I approach 50, one from preschool, one from elementary and one from high school.  I credit those families a lot for my being socially resilient and teaching me a lot of things my parents didn't (and still haven't entirely mastered themselves) - appropriate boundaries, consideration, compassion.  My closest sibling is a disaster case who is the worst of my parents combined and is only in her 40s starting to learn how to be a non-abrasive person (and only in fits and starts) - it does kind of warm my heart to see her developing a coterie of friends.

So yes, you're right: get over your parents and learn the social skills, but if you were isolated with socially inept parents - never mind any genetic component in all this - it can be a real challenge.

To the OP: the trick is what you can offer your friends: listening, being interested in them as a person, kindness and compassion.  If you really want a primer, Dale Carnegie isn't bad - hell, Charles Manson read Carnegie in prison and became a first rate charmer...hopefully you're not a sociopath underneath.  [/quote]

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