Reply to Female friendship...confide and be close, achieve/receive good things, get cut off, rinse and repeat

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Reply to "Female friendship...confide and be close, achieve/receive good things, get cut off, rinse and repeat"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You sound a little jaded OP, but if you have experienced this issue over + over, I can totally see where you are coming from.

Perhaps it is just bad luck, but I wouldn't write off having Female friendships altogether.

I am sure not everyone is like this.

I for one, value friendship and loyalty and would never think of letting a friendship dissolve due to any external factors.

Have you thought that perhaps you are the one who is doing some changing as well?

Not to accuse you of anything....just to offer some extra food for thought.[/quote]

OP here. No offense taken. Excellent point, never occurred to me. I also switch back and forth between examining what I did and did not do/say and accepting that this sort of thing is typical (anyone have any good data to support that or not).

When I got married, close friend for decades told me it should have been her, not me and it was so unfair blah blah blah. Weeks later I told her I was promoted at work and she replied that I must have slept my way into the job. :roll: I wasn't altogether hurt, rather just fed up that THIS was the person I called my closest friend at the time..so I cut her off. I let a ton of other things slide before

Around that same time a mildly close friend rsvpd to my wedding saying she wasn't coming. I called to discuss why and she gave me no explanation and just hung up. Never heard from her again.

Another close friend of about five years who I saw a few times a month told me she wanted to text and visit less frequently because she didnt have time. It stung but I went with it with no complaining or backlash.  Ive seen her three times in the past 2 years...two times I initiated. :roll: she flat out told me in a calm tone of voice that she felt rage toward me when I did something well at work. And that it was just really hard to be around my newborn son because of a prior loss of her own.

I moved a lot as a kid from state to state (fathers job transferred us every two years), studied abroad and out of state for undergrad, moved to and invested way too much time in a marriage that failed and lost all of that marriages associated relationships\support and started over again.

So as I write this out I'm seeing its caused by picking low self esteem friends, moving around way too much and maybe the nature of some female friendships. Sucks when youre raised in the rustbelt and just want to live some place more interesting but have no support to do it well.

Thanks for reading if you got this far! :-)  
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