Reply to Do you, the mother, tell your child when he/she has hurt your feelings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes. These things must be taught. Starting as soon as they do anything that hurts my feelings. [/quote]

So you would tell a toddler that him wanting his Dad to hold him instead of you hurt your feelings?!

You have some hefty child psychologist bills in your future, PP.  [/quote]

That's going a bit overboard, don't you think?  I think you left the reasonable person principle far behind with this one.

[b]My interpretation was when the child says something like "you're not my friend!" or "I hate you!" or whatever.  I think it's really important to teach children that those are hurtful things to say and that instead they should communicate their feelings better (like "I'm mad at you.")[/b].[/quote]

I'm with you, PP.  When my three and a half year old son yells, "NOT YOU, MOMMY, ONLY DADDY!" and then calls me a "bossy old boiler" (thanks, Thomas the Train!), we do have conversations about whether that's a nice way to ask for Daddy and that calling names is mean. I just this morning told him that the way he yelled at me hurt my feelings.  He's old enough to express that his own feelings are hurt, and he knows that there are nice ways and not nice ways to say things, so it follows that he's going to need to learn that he can hurt other people's feelings.

Obviously, I'm the adult, and I'm going to love DS no matter what and I tell him that all the time, but how else are we supposed to model appropriate behavior towards others if we don't talk about the consequences of mean words? [/quote]

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