Reply to Public School Teacher's Resentment Toward DS for Going to Private High School?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP.  DS tried to hand something in a day early (which is allowed and encouraged).  She said he needed the rubric.  He went to get it from his desk and she said no, hand it in tomorrow.  The next day he mistakenly left it home (he was showing his dad the work) and she took a grade off his project for being late to hand it in, even though she knew he had done it and we brought it to the school right after school.  The guidance counselor fixed things.   Next he had a test right after missing some days due to shadowing.  He missed some of the material and tried to see her to get help.  She was always busy giving kids tests before school and during lunch, and never available after school to help him with the material.  Then she went out of her way to send me emails about the days he was out and how he did not miss the material...she spent a lot of time with the emails...why can't she help my kid?  My son is a straight A student...forgetful sometimes, but sweet and well liked by all the other teachers and administrators.[/quote]

It sounds like she's somewhat rigid in her approach -- but perhaps this is the way she normally functions?  I know many math teachers (in particular) who take the "dot the i and cross the t's" approach, and I'm fair enough to recognize that it can teach important lessons about details.

If she had slammed your child in her letter of recommendation, he very well might not have been accepted.  Teacher rec letters can be that important.  So odds are she likes your child fine.

"She was always busy giving kids tests before school and during lunch, and never available after school to help him with the material."  Hmmm.  I suggest you read this out loud to yourself.  It sounds like this teacher puts in quite a bit of time before school and during her own free time during the day.  She may have had other responsibilities after school, or personal obligations.

Finally, I'm sure your son is a very nice boy, but even nice kids can sometimes come across as somewhat entitled.  You weren't in the room for your child's interactions and there's at least a possibility that he was entitled, or flaky, or what have you, in trying to get extra help.  Perhaps it came across that it had to be on "his" schedule.

Bottom line is that it sounds like your child has done very well at the school and is excited about the school he will be attending next year.  Does it really  matter if he will theoretically not perform as well on this upcoming test?  Do you want to spend your last months at the school in a fight with a teacher or administration?

[/quote]

I would add a question -- did the teacher just out of the blue write you emails that he had not missed the relevant materials?  Or was this is response to a complaint by you/your child that the child had performed poorly due to missed material that the teacher did not help him make up?  And, the teacher may be the one who knows best what she covered in class and whether he missed material relevant to the test.

You don't actually have to answer these questions, OP (obviously).  But these are questions people would ask (or maybe even just think about silently, while being polite but thinking 'I am glad the private school will have to deal with her next year').

You could be right, and the teacher could have taken a dislike to your child's "betrayal" at leaving public school.  But that sounds sort of silly.  More likely, if there has been a change (as opposed to this being the first time your son, a good student, has run up against her "tight ship" mentality), it is because of a sense that your family  is making it "her job" to personally tutor your child to make up for voluntary absences.[/quote]

The teacher was reacting to the guidance counselor giving him an extra day to take the upcoming test due to his absences and unavailability of the teacher to help.  The teacher is NEVER there after school.  DS is well liked by all other teachers and guidance counselor.  He is not the type to act entitled or brag.  Lots of kids wear their high school shirts.  There is a pattern of this teacher's harassment since we applied to the schools.  His grades up to this point in the class (this quarter and prior quarters) are all As.  He is a hard worker.  My gut tells me the teacher is somehow trying to retaliate for the fact that the guidance counselor is advocating for him.[/quote]

Okay, you've put all your cards on the table -- I will do the same.

You sound ungrateful (for the teacher's recommendation letter); unreliable (in your description of events, which sounds paranoid and one-sided); and unreasonable (in your entire approach to this).  You've already made up your mind.  I am sorry for that teacher that she will have to deal with your complaints, carping, and character assassination in the spring.

So many kids apply to private schools in this area -- it's old hat.  It's not her, it's YOU.[/quote]

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