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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Ok Cupid and match "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]11:10 with an update here, a week later. I completed completed my profile & added a picture. I've been getting lots of visitors and "likes" and several messages a day. I have found a few guys I like and some of them turned out to be "mutual likes". I haven't had the guts to message any of them. I've responded to a few messages, engaged in some back and forth with several men. Only one of them has kept it up and seems interested enough and willing to chat a bit more before meeting. I like him a lot online, but am not sure if he'll be attractive to me in person. We are probably meeting next weekend and I'm looking forward to it. I guess this is probably good enough? Overall, I'm not too excited about the site, although it's an entertaining time-waster. When I'm bored, I answer more questions, play around with my search criteria, ponder the weirdness of some of the messages I'm getting. I think I'll have to suck it up and be more willing to meet quickly after a couple of messages? Or is it safer to message for a while before meeting? Judging from my limited 1-week experience so far, it seems guys will lose interest quickly if I'm not up for meeting them right away.[/quote] Good enough in terms of volume/traffic? Sure, it's fine. Re: meeting up quickly, or not. Did the guys who "lost interest" specifically ask you out, and you said no, that you'd like to talk for awhile longer first, and then they stopped messaging? If not, don't sweat it. People stop messaging for all sorts of reasons, and if they didn't specifically ask you to meet and you declined/delayed, then you don't know it's because you wanted to wait. Re: safer to chat for awhile first - I don't think so, really, and I'm a woman. I think safety is more about the information you divulge/what you do on the date, rather than how quickly you meet them. If you meet someone in person after 3 messages or 300, there's really no difference safety-wise if you a) don't tell them your last name or where you work or live and b) don't go to their home/keep the date public. If it helps, I've been doing the online thing on-and-off for close to a year now, and it takes awhile to get comfortable with it. It's been much better/easier in the last few months than it was in the first few. In my experience, most people who are going to ask you to meet do so within a week-10 days of daily messaging, and then the date happens within another week or so, so you don't sound like you are moving especially slow. The ones who don't ask within that period generally fade on their own at some later point, if I keep messaging them. Also, don't get discouraged if someone asks you out, but then the date doesn't actually happen. This happens 30% of the time, in my experience. I've never been actually 'stood up' as in, sitting at a restaurant waiting, but they will ask to reschedule after making concrete plans, or throw out a vague "hey would you like to go for drink" and you say yes, and then they never actually make concrete plans. [/quote]
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