Reply to I feel guilty when DH is rude to his mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She shouldn't have booked without talking to you first.

He shouldn't have fired off like that, especially if she's generally a nice woman and respects boundaries.

Both need to talk to each other.[/quote]

We have a winner here, OP. They need to talk.

This is their relationship, not yours. But I totally get your feelings of being embarrassed by his response. He didnt' act like an adult. Do you on some level worry that MIL is going to believe that while he tossed off the idiotic reply, you are actually the one prompting him to say no? Anything in your own dynamic with her where she might blame you (or you might just fear she'll blame you, even if she does not) for his jackassery?

One other thing. Though this is about him and her (and clearly there is some bad history between them as you note in a follow-up post), why can't you tell your DH straight out, "The reply you sent your mom was rude, and frankly I"m embarrassed by how rude you were. I know you and she have issues, but she has done some good things for our family, and generally respects boundaries. Yes, she should  not have booked without consulting us, I agree. But your reply was rude. I'm not defending her actions, but I also can't defend yours in my own mind. It upsets me."

A wife should be able to call out her husband when he's out of line (and vice versa) and not have it blow up. If you feel things would blow up between you and him if you frankly say he embarrassed you and that YOU are hurt by his rudeness -- then you and he might have larger communication issues than this one incident....[/quote]

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