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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I want you to consider this. Imagine a pretend scenario where your family never visits. Every, at all. Now, approach your decision this way: what is the amount of time spent, number of visits where doing the right thing outweighs the resentment. This is your decision. OP, you need to feel empowered. You are in the driver's seat. I'm guessing there is a certain amount of visiting you would want to do - maybe include seeing your family with other sightseeing in the area. Do what you can to make these trips joyful for you - that has nothing to do with your family. You get something - else - out of it.

The hardest part may be letting go of what you *wish* you had or how you *think* it could be. It is what it is. I'm sorry.[/quote]

Thanks. Yes, I guess I have to accept that the ideal scenario does not exist.

Responding to several posts at once: 
Yes, perhaps her husband is calling the shots and she doesn't want to make waves.

She lives 5 min from my parents, so it's not like I'm not visiting her when I fly out there. I stay with my parents because their guest room is nicer. Sometimes I have stayed with her though some of the time.

I enjoy visiting, but the trip takes so long that I don't go as often as I would if they lived closer.  They live sort of in the middle of nowhere so there isn't a whole lot of sightseeing we can do, unless we did other stuff a few hours away.
[/quote]

Speaking as someone in a similar logistical position as her, she may not realize that you expect to be taking turns on visits, etc. She is just counting that you see each other regularly. She's not thinking about who is making more effort to see each other. I'm not saying she's right in not realizing it, just that it may not occur to her that that is how you see it.[/quote]

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