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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]on the flip side---I hope I am not judged too harshly here.

The bar mitzvah is really about the service and the child leading the religious service.   if most of the people are local, "snacks" could be ok.  say hummus, crudité, dips, cookies.  just a place to gather after and congratulate and mingle.

we are having one next year, which will be a full lunch, but nothing fancy.  we are quiet people and not in a great financial position right now.

I worry about out of towners a little, so maybe would have a little something at the house later for them?[/quote]

I had a "smaller" bat mitzvah. Around 70 people, as opposed to the 200-250 my sibling and cousins and friends all had. We had my reception at a steak house. We did not have a videographer (though professional photographs were taken), or a band/DJ, or Entertainment. There was food, cake, a few flowers (I had a corsage and there were flowers/balloons at each table), party favors for the kids, and I think that's it. I was worried, but everyone loved it. The smaller scale was not about money, but about me - I had few friends and horrid learning disabilities so we didn't really know if I could learn my haf torah portion at all (I was actually learning the last two lines as we pulled into the parking lot of the temple the morning of).

We also had the after-party at the house, with bagels and lox, etc. I think your full lunch and then something at your house for the out-of-towners (plus maybe your son's friends) sounds lovely. [/quote]

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