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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Helpful responses to wife's body image issues? "
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[quote=Anonymous]12:54 again, and had some more thoughts on this. I've struggled with negative self-image, too, and I'm thinking through my interactions with my husband. My husband used to tell me daily that I was beautiful, and I'd cringe (sometimes internally, sometimes visibly) because I'm not. Objectively, I'm just not - I do not have, and will never have, a pretty face or anything close to it. What works better than "you're beautiful" (which I could never believe, no matter how many times it was said) is specifics. My husband will say "I love the way your smile lights up your face", or "your hair is beautiful", or "I love the color of your eyes", or "wow, you look amazing in that dress". Those are things I can believe, it makes me feel good to hear them, and I don't mentally default to 'ugh, I'm ugly' when he says them. So - are there specifics that you really love about your wife's appearance/physical self that you can compliment sincerely and with enthusiasm? That might be something to try. Also, do you notice there are times/situations when your wife is happy with her body/appearance? When she's dressed up, for example, or has a chance to do her hair and makeup, has time to do a particular exercise, etc? You could try to create opportunities for those situations that make her feel good about how she looks - or ask her when she feels good about how she looks, and try to find more opportunities for her to feel that way. [/quote]
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