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[quote=Anonymous]OP I can relate to a point.  My wife's family is like this.  What it came down to for us was that I couldn't control the situation, but I had limits of what I could tolerate, which was that it could not put our family in jeopardy.  So losing her job was not an option - she could not take so much time off that this was a risk.  Plus there was a spending limit on the travel and the rest of us got a similar sum of money to spend as we choose.  Finally, the rest of us were not going to stop our lives so she could indulge the dysfunction of her family.  So, even though she had no leave or money to vacation, the kids and I took great trips.

Over time things changed.  My wife got annoyed at missing out on things with her (our) kids so she could sit at the bedside of a mom who really didn't need it.  My SIL, who didn't work while her kids were at home and lived close by my MIL, finally had lots of free time because her kids were grown and she wanted to leave the area.  And, at some point, though this was recent, my MIL developed a relationship with a male friend with whom she takes turns sitting bedside.  My wife (and SIL) still goes when there are real issues and I support this.  But I am really glad that we moved beyond the crazy dysfunction of our early years of marriage.  We are all much happier.  My wife was guilted for awhile but that's gone now too.[/quote]

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