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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Feel like I can't divorce"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] It seems as if you have communication issues which could be resolved. If you are not ready for counseling yet, read up on positive and constructive communication (get books from your library). This is how I stayed married. DH did not want to go to counseling. I learned how to argue dispassionately and stick to my bullet points without going into insults or hurtful generalizations. Controlling one's emotions is very important because it allows you to think clearly and directly counter all the other person's arguments with respect. DH took two years to retrain his attitude - it was hard, but we have saved so much of our lives by not divorcing. We do have a lot of affection for each other, despite being very dissimilar.[/quote] This is great advice and I would add that it is not easy to switch to dispassionate discussions by there is a way to jumpstart it: instead of responding to provocation with a statement of your own, ask a question to clarify what he's saying. Keep asking things that help you fully understand him. It might take a few questions before he calms down but if you're sincere he WILL calm down and the voila, you'll be discussing, not arguing.[/quote]
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