Reply to MIL highly offended that we dont keep the stuff she gives us,.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would peruse the book "The life changing magic of tidying up" by Marie Kondo. [b] It specifically has a chapter on "giving" away things to family members and how often it is a way to pass the guilt of letting go of something. [/b] She recommends not giving something to a family member unless you know they have a specific need and/or it is something they would willingly go out and buy today.    I.e. it sounds like she cannot bear to throw things out or donate them so she manages those feelings of guilt by foisting the items onto your family and when you pass the items along she has to deal with her guilt ( likely due to the era she grew up in, "waste not want not" type mentality.) I agree with a previous poster that it may help to frame for her where the items went into a "brighter" (in her mind) light via charity choice  I.e. if she notices big play kitchen missing you could talk up the charity you donated to, emphasizing how much use the play kitchen will get and how grateful the recipients are.  I would not return the items to her as it merely perpetuates the cycle and will simply allow her to accumulate unused clutter.[/quote]

This is my MIL exactly.  She wants to give us so much family crap ALL the time.  And the only reason she wants to pass it along is not because she thinks it's valuable or meaningful, but because she doesn't want to get rid of it herself.  So by making it our problem, she is off the hook.  I seriously resent her for it.  She is offended that I don't want random knick-nacks she's been saving for years.  Sure, I'm happy to take some things that are useful (say, some nice china dishes from her mother or MIL) but I do NOT want your random precious moments figurine collection.

If people want to empty out their houses, fine.  But then don't complain when I throw it all away!  I don't want your stuff!  I have enough of my own stuff to deal with.[/quote]

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