Reply to How bad is it to decline an offer to be a bridesmaid for my SIL?

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Reply to "How bad is it to decline an offer to be a bridesmaid for my SIL? "

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[quote=Anonymous]Not to take over your thread, but let me give you some background before I give my answer
My brother and his fiancé asked me to be in their wedding and it was a total nightmare.  I was 8 months pregnant (they knew I was going through IVF when they asked and there would be a good chance at me being pregnant by the time their wedding came about).  I tried to bow out gracefully - essentially saying I would be big as a house and I was OK if they didn't want me in the wedding (I worded it much better - but can't remember the exact phrasing).  Trying to pin her down on everything (she went with 'trendy dresses' so there was no maternity line- I found a similar dress and gave her swatches- never heard back until months later (when I started bugging) She couldn't find the swatches, had to order them again.  Stuff like this went on for months. Then she got annoyed with my mom for something and REFUSED TO talk to anyone in our family at the wedding (including me).  It was her day - so I blew it off.  But it was absolutely the most miserable wedding I have ever been to.

Ahhh- that feels good to get that off my chest.

ANYWAY- back to your issue - there are ways to gently bow out yet still keep a good relationship with your SIL.  If she has a history of making things about her, keep in mind weddings can be stressful and it does not always bring out the best in people.  Whatever you do, please make sure she knows you are absolutely honored that she would think of you that way.  [/quote]

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