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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Anyway, I've totally hijacked this thread and I didn't want to - I just don't like hearing the "abusive behavior" tossed around lightly.  [/quote]

This is OP, and you have totally gotten on my nerves AND highjacked my thread.  Maybe my DH is abusive, maybe he isn't.  I don't actually take the term lightly.  It's actually a very complicated situation because life is complicated, it isn't as easy as me saying "Oh, he's abusive and I have to leave."  There are children involved, our very intertwined lives, etc.  Plus, people change and go through all kinds of changes in their life where they aren't on their best behavior.  There's a lot more than that, and I didn't want to get into it because that's not what I wanted the thread to be about, so I changed my wording.  But I take it back.

Also, I agree with the pp who said that you didn't go into counseling in good faith and you basically railroaded your fiance and the therapist.  You just wanted validation for leaving.  I now wonder how self-aware you are at all.[/quote]

NP here.  I'm a little surprised you're so hostile towards that PP.  Obviously, his situation was different than yours- at least I'm assuming your husband isn't borderline.  He simply stated his experience in therapy.  And if you've never been in a relationship with someone who's borderline, I don't think you can understand the level of manipulation and chaos they need in their relationships.

I get it- you want to hear stories from couples who went to counseling together and fixed their relationship together and then rode into the sunset on a unicorn farting rainbows.  But that doesn't always happen.  Especially for folks with BPD.  [/quote]

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