Reply to What to Say After Tonight's Defeat that Concludes a Bad Season (5th Gr Boy Rec Basketball)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the "I love to watch you play." is good. Otherwise, OP, don't say anything. Or if you must say something, say "I'm sorry you are feeling so disappointed." or something.

Really, that's all it's about. If he continues to go on about it, I'd tell him off. I'd tell him to stop wallowing and get over it. He played how he played. Don't let him blame others. Put it in perspective if you must. Christ, it's just a game. [b]Tell him to be glad that's his biggest problem, and that if he's going to make such a fuss about losing maybe he's not cut out to play sports. [/b][/quote]

Wow, that is awful. People's feelings don't change just because you told them to feel differently.

Your first paragraph was spot-on. Your second one . . . look, I get how that would be happening in your head, but you need to keep it there. If you can't take any more, "I know you're feeling down, but you have three more minutes of venting and then you need to talk about something else, or nothing, because I don't think it's helping you."[/quote]

I don't underestimate the degree of my boys' feelings--but try to put it in perspective for them.

Being competitive and wanting to win is not an evil, bad thing--it will get them far in life if they have an internal drive.

I get told all if the time how tenacious my one so. Is in sports game. He seems to turn it in even more when the team is down.  This is not a characteristic I will beat out of him.  He's so calm and quiet and mellow- so it's pretty funny to see this other side.

We tell him that we love watching him play. We are proud that he never gives up until the whistle blows--especially when his team is behind.

You are always a good sport-hikd your head high and congratulate the other team. You win some, you lose some--but doing both with dignity, respect and good sportsmanship is how you do it.

Nothing makes me prouder than when my son will go up to an opposing player afterwards and compliment him.  He has had kids in other teams do this to him when he's walking to the car as well.  That takes character to be able to compliment somebody else without feeling like it diminishes your own abilities.  I know so man adults that never learned that lesson.[/quote]

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