Reply to Can I really run away for a while?

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[quote=Anonymous]

OP - You have every right to feel and see the pattern of your 25+ years of marriage as you do, but you also may benefit from a neutral counselor to discuss your role in letting it happen.    Right now you seem to be taking only a very idealistic and unrealistic approach to making a life for yourself - unless you would like to separate from you DH and DC.  It sound like you have never really communicated with DH on what your goals and your choices in life are so get some help in learning how to do so.  You seem to have the money to do whatever you want so that is a plus.  I think going to Nantucket, Martha's Vineyard, Provincetown area etc. maybe each season of the year for a couple of weeks to recharge and rejuvenate would be a wonderful idea AND perhaps to see where to just make plans to rent a place annually for a certain period of time in the future for a bit longer stretch.

Right now you are acting like a child and being very "centric" in dreaming what life could be "if."   The reality is that there are things which you need to do as an adult to make any real, positive changes.  It could be as you describe or it could be starting with DH talking and seeing where it goes in the changes you will be making as you sound like you are about mid- to late 40s and really have a lifetime ahead of you.  Options could be getting a full-time job doing whatever you choose and at whatever hours or simply part-time in a new area, going back to school to take fun classes or even some directed at a possible career, reestablishing ties with your old friends and traveling to visit them or use seeing them as one reason to explore an area and just relax for a week at a time etc.  Planning and taking a trip through a group - you sound like you have the money to go top of the line tour group so make a bucket list of USA and international places you would like to see and let your husband know you will be going and would he like to come or not and if not see if a friend would like to go or go on your own.  I suspect DH is so used to have "happy, no talk wiife" that your thoughts and feelings on anything really do not occur to him to consider, and the reason for this to have happened is two-sided.   Right now you are unhappy with your life and do not find  pleasure in either your marriage or your family life so you really do need to address why, what you want and what direction to take, but going by the ocean for a year only sounds like delaying tactic - unless you remain a child and want others to take action and make a change for you.[/quote]

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