Reply to Vent...my mom's anxiety is out of control

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am also someone whose anxiety is out of control about planes landing... I have fallen to pieces if my DH's plane hadn't landed well within the time it was expected to (without knowing the flight numbers to track delays). Some years I've been worse about it, some better.

I'm trying very hard to think what might be helpful in your situation, and I really think [b]your mom needs to be much less informed[/b]. In some ways, perhaps the most humane and caring thing to do for her is to stop maintaining the illusion that she can and will be able to continually keep tabs on you and confirm your well being (and your spouse's). She's not going to let go of this control illusion herself -- she's not going to agree to go along with it -- she will be climbing up the walls over the prospect -- but ultimately, you are enabling her illusion and, like with any mental illness, enabling it ultimately harms everyone.

And all of this is being said by someone who is very empathetic to the pain and terror she is (trying to avoid) feeling!!! But ultimately you should shift to a form of communication (periodic email?) that is less "on-demand" than the current one -- you don't having to start lying to her, or lessen the content of the communication, but you need to stop feeding her control illusion.  
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I agree with this.  One source of extreme anxiety for me is our oldest's drama ridden life.  I am much better when I know next to nothing.  Give your mom minimal information.  Stay in touch for sure though.[/quote]

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