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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Thanks all.  When I say "rubbing off" I just mean that since we are not biologically related the issue of genetics and mental illness don't come into play.  So I think the fact that I've started to exhibit some of her same issues is a product of nurture.  Anyways, I'm able to reel it in so far but know it's not healthy, hence why I'm going to see a therapist.  My Mom has every excuse in the book as to why she won't see one and I've given up trying. She's been on anti anxiety meds in the past prescribed by her GP.  I think she's on the wrong med or wrong dose because they don't help.

I'm sure my therapist will help me work on ways to avoid these situations.  It just doesn't occur me to lie though. If she asks "did DH like DS' new haircut?" It doesn't occur to me to say "yes" vs "oh his flight doesn't get home until later so he won't see him until the morning"[/quote]

I understand. Don't lie. You just need to learn to set up boundaries as tall and strong as the Berlin wall. If she asks "did DH like DS' new haircut?" you need to practice saying something like "Hasn't it seen yet" and then immediately change the conversation to something else innocuous like, "I saw the cutest pair of shoes . . ." or "Did you see Downton Abbey last night?" or some such thing. It takes practice but it will become second nature.

Also, don't confide your anxiety in her. It may be tempting, but resist. For me that means I have to keep some things from my mom. It's tough, but hey, that's what my friends and DH are there for.[/quote]

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