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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't respond to all of them. Of course thank her when you receive something, but you don't need to reply to everything. Eventually she'll ask why you haven't replied and you can let her know how busy you are and that you don't text or check your email much.

[b]Be sensitive to the fact that she has no husband or kids (if that's what she wants), and recognize that doing this gives her some kind of purpose, [/b]but you don't need to drop everything to deal with those questions. Has she spent much time around the kids? When my ILs spend time here they leave looking like they've been through a war, and for a little while stop bugging us about little things, because they get a sense of just how busy we are.[/quote]

I agree. OP, please consider cutting her a little slack. I totally agree with you that she is being overbearing with the many inquiries! But I also think a little understanding will keep this from turning into a problem that nags at you.

When she does send something, even a card, acknowledge it right away. As someone else noted, put that dress on your kid and take a few photos and send them to her - don't wait for her to ask. Same with gifts; take a few pictures of the kids with the gifts and send by snail mail, along with some kind of simple thank-you card the kids made if they're old enough to do so (and even a toddler can glue something onto paper and scribble a "picture"). Using snail mail means you aren't doing an instant reply each time, and slows the whole process down.

Don't reply to texts or e-mails immediately, or even on the same day, and screen calls to reply to them later, but also don't ignore her; reach out to her at times when she has not been contacting you, so that you and your husband are seen to be taking some initiative. Every communication from your end shouldn't just be a response to her bugging you about this or that thing arriviing; you might find the bugging slacks off some if she hears from you, husband and kids at times when she's not bombarding you about cards. Sounds like she needs assurance that your family's thinking of her. Ask about [i]her[/i] life and interests and don't let all conversation be about the kids.

I am guessing from the post that you are not living near each other so it's not an option for her to see the kids, so she sends cards and gifts. Yes, she's overdoing it with the tracking of her cards etc. but if your kids are her only young family members, she's probably both enjoying finding things for them, and trying to reach out to her brother and you by showing interest in what she knows interests you the most -- your children. I would not brush her off over this, but learn to laugh about it with your husband in private and at the same time, contact her more when she's not begging for it.[/quote]

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