Reply to As an adult how do you get over a relationship with your parents that you will never have?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with therapy, OP, and here is something that I once heard about this:

The parent-child relationship is probably the most sacred of all relationships and in life, if we are lucky, we have two chances to experience it as it should be lived. The first is almost totally out of our control. The second -- our relationship with our own kids -- is almost completely within our control.

The more you build strong and loving relationship with your own children, the more you will experience healing in the deficiency of the relationship with your own mother. [/quote]

OP here, I thank you for this post and everyone else's. I have considered cutting them off, but that would be an uphill battle. I may still do that in the future. My parents try putting themselves at such a high level in my life. Meaning they feel they should be allowed to say anything and do anything in my house.[b] An example, when my 7 year old was doing homework and my mom kept telling him he has to study hard so that he's not stupid and she kept asking him if he wants to be stupid when he grows up. I said mom he'll be ok no matter what. She said, what i can't talk to him??? He's my grandson I can say whatever the hell I want to him. It's so frustrating for me. 
[/b]
I have stopped looking forward to their visits and now hate it when they are here. I have to prep the kids into acting a certain way (make sure you say thank you and please over and over again, make sure you say good morning first to grandma, make sure you answer grandma immediately) for things to run smoother when they are here, but  crap still hits the fan. [/quote]

My mom is like this as well.  Sorry, OP.  I know how much it sucks.

I have cut down on their visits.  They can come here once a year, or else we meet at another family member's house.  I just don't want that kind of toxic behavior around me anymore (or my kids).  That part in bold is exactly like something my mom would/does say.[/quote]

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