Reply to As an adult how do you get over a relationship with your parents that you will never have?

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Reply to "As an adult how do you get over a relationship with your parents that you will never have?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with therapy, OP, and here is something that I once heard about this:

The parent-child relationship is probably the most sacred of all relationships and in life, if we are lucky, we have two chances to experience it as it should be lived. The first is almost totally out of our control. The second -- our relationship with our own kids -- is almost completely within our control.

[b]The more you build strong and loving relationship with your own children, the more you will experience healing in the deficiency of the relationship with your own mother. [/b][/quote]

I have heard this as well. Thanks for posting this PP. It is definitely true for my wife. She witnessed some crappy things in her childhood. Her relationship with our children is amazing and has been an avenue for her to overcome the hurt she experienced as a child. [/quote]

+2. I had a great relationship with my parents once I was grown, but it took a lot of therapy and I had to make the step of seeing them as people in their own right, with lives before me, and recognizing that their childhoods were pretty horrible, even worse than mine. They did the best they could and gave me better than what they had.

Even so, there was a lot of residual pain until I became a mom, and, quite unexpectedly to me, discovered that parenting my own child is in a weird sense like re-parenting myself -- I derive a real sense of comfort from being the mom I wanted. Not that I am perfect by any means, but DD is feels secure and is a happy kid overall, smart with lots of interests and friends. Creating a nurturing environment for her has turned out to also give me things I didn't even know I needed. [/quote]

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