Reply to Mom pressuring me to spend time with my brother's in-laws who live out of state

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you spend time with your siblings' in-laws?  What is the expectation in the U.S. for this?  Aren't you just expected to spend time with your own blood relative and your own in-laws?

[b]My brother is getting married soon, and my mom is insisting that we start spending holidays with my brother's in-laws.  I don't know what she is thinking, she never batted an eye when he didn't spend time with my in-laws.[/b]

Can anyone relate?  I just don't get it.  I have already told her that I'm not interested in spending time with them (they are out of state) and that I already have a lot of family obligations (her and my dad live nearby, my in-laws live 10 min. away, sister-in-law lives nearby, our 3 kids are older and have a lot of school/after school activities, etc.)[/quote]

I would guess that your mom is anxious about losing your brother to his new wife's family and wants to find a way to not lose holidays with him.  If OP is a woman she probably didn't have the same worry (the whole 'your son's your son 'til he takes a wife, your daughter's your daughter all her life).

I would never expect to specifically try to spend time with my siblings ILs.  We did see my sister's ILs regularly (until she divorced) because they live in the same town as sis and our parents so they all spent all holidays together.  We see BIL's ILs at Thanksgiving because they always host both sides of BIL/SIL's family.[/quote]

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