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[quote=Anonymous]
OP - Hard to comment on an anonymous board, but telling the age of our daughter and her grade level would help for some suggestions.  Is there a Dad involved at all who might be a line of communication to her that may be difficult at this point for you?  Think back to when this trend started or has school always been difficult for your daughter?  You will have a larger, long-term problem if you do not help her figure things out.  Not to dump on you, but this situation has obviously evolved as one of poor grades and her doing what she chose as she chose and what has been your previous response?

You might benefit first from some counseling on how to interact with your daughter and then involve her in the discussion, too.  Living in the pressure filled area of DMV, maybe she needs to have some personal validation of herself as a person and her interests which others point out may not be in school all that much.  However, you as her parent need to help her tie in the fact that school performance does matter in terms of life choices and options.  Again the conversation and changes one might make with a 14 year old are very different from a 17 year old.

There are so many factors which might help her - but the route of how she is acting needs to be discerned first, and it could be an unknown physical condition as relatively simple as thyroid being off to a mental health issue or simply being in a funk and now feeling no way to dig herself out.  Other ideas would be to look at what your expectations are for her to be doing in terms life skills in the home - she needs to have responsibilities there.  Another would be to explore what kind of a part-time job would she like to seek or volunteer work for the summer because being at home on the couch and one the phone will not be happening?  But there does need to be a plan or she could have even worse consequences.  It sounds like she might benefit from a public or private summer school program if it could help her grades or how to study.  If you have the money, then enroll her in appropriate camps - perhaps some away from home so she could get up and out on a scheduled routine.  And  be open to hearing what she wants to be doing and figuring out how to make it seem doable if even somewhat realistic.  The four year, high powered college route is not the only road in town. And parenting, especially if you are a single parent, is a difficult role.  Hang in there for both of you.[/quote]

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