Reply to I'm the DW and primary breadwinner, and I hate it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What the hell!

DH and I both work, but we've watched friends closely who SAH. I think SAHMs (and dads) only work if they do chores and everything else house wise. Personally I think SAHMs should have chores done and dinner on the table when the working spouse arrives home. It doesn't normally happen though. So many of our friends have SAH spouses who don't do chores, don't do laundry, don't cook, etc. There is so much resentment in those marriages on both sides (SAH spouse is jealous of the other spouse getting to go to work and leave and the other spouse  is resentful of how hard it is to maintain everything on one income. )[/quote]

PP who was the SAHD here. Even if you're doing all that (and I did) it's still NOT THAT HARD. Think how many hours are in a day. If you've got babies, OK. But once they're not pooing themselves, and especially once they're off to elementary school, you've got HOURS to accomplish whatever needs accomplished. How many chores can their be in one house? Sorry SAHM's. I did it and would have continued to ride that pony as long as I could get away with. Thankfully DW gave me a kick.

As for as the OP, if your kids are that old he's not a SAHD. He's retired.

[/quote]

This.

It is really really hard for SAHDs to return to work b/c it is so rare and unusual that employers assume it is cover for other problem (mental health, personal issues, etc).  And their skills are very stale and he hasn't any recent experience.

And if your kids are leaving HS, your DH is probably 50ish? Men who have been working for 30 years who are unemployed at 50 often have very hard time finding a job; your DH really has no chance.  He should hang a shingle and do some kind of contract project work (maybe start off with Amazon Mechanical Turk or eLance or something to build some kind of portfolio).

I suspect your DH sees the writing on the wall: he is unemployable in current labor market.  But doesn't want to try to convince you so is "looking"[/quote]

OP: I see your point.  But he has managed many political campaigns, and consults regularly for free for our friends start up.  I think he probably couldn't go traditional, but I envision start up or not for profit as options.  He's not that stale and he's very very very bright.[/quote]

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