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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our DD is the oldest of our three children, and she attends a middle school in Bethesda.  She is a good student and all-around great girl.

She asked me to charge her iPhone the other night.  ([b]Yes, we regret getting her one for her 12th birthday a few months ago because now she just wants to text her friends constantly and I think she's almost over-communicating with them[/b].)  She has a password for her iPhone, and I don't have access to it.  ([b]We probably need to supervise that more.)[/b]

When I charged her iPhone, a text came up from a boy that said "Love you.  Good night."  It was from a 6th grade boy at her school.  She met him at the beginning of the school year, and I noticed she hangs out in groups that occasionally include him.  He seems like a nice boy.

I think 6th grade is way too young to be receiving a text from a boy that says "Love you.  Good night."  I remember being a 6th grader, and some of the boys were already going way beyond kissing with girls in my school.

I welcome any advice other parents may have!  Thank you![/quote]

OP, you sound a little passive about your parenting choices.  If you are not comfortable with how things are going, talk with your DD and change the rules immediately.  You're the parent.  Boundaries around behaviors are important.

For example, if you are unhappy with how often she is texting and "over-communicating" with her friends, set some limits on it.  Maybe she needs to hand over her phone to you at X o'clock every night.  Or from X o'clock to Y o'clock.  And if you regret not having the password to her account, change that and request it now.

You'll need to have a substantive conversation about this with her so she understands why the rules are changing.  I would not connect this directly with the boyfriend issue, though she certainly will.  I would focus first on how it's your job as a parent to help her make good choices about her phone and the way she uses it.  I might also be quite clear about how her phone is a privilege, not a right.  And then I would talk about the boyfriend separately.

On that note, learn from your regret about the phone boundaries and be strict about this piece.  Sixth grade is not too young to have a "boyfriend" in name only, but it's certainly too young to be spending unsupervised time with him, either at your house, his house, out on a "date" etc.  You're the parent. Don't hesitate to set boundaries that you feel are appropriate.[/quote]

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