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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I'm trying to find a way to engage the discussion and find a solution that doesn't end with both of us resenting each other.

The best way is to find the money and make it happen. That means we have to cut things out that both of us like and want.

For me right now. I know I need to be the bigger person and cut out things I like to do so that she can do this. So, I could cut out sporting events. I can check myself from saying, "hey, let's grab drinks and a bite to eat."  I can sacrifice a trip to see my family.

The emotional hill for me to climb is the fact that she wants to spend this kind of money on a trip without me. I find that hurtful, but I recognize that I need to get beyond feeling like that. I'm sure she is excited by the opportunity (hopefully more so than the desire to get away from the family for a while). [/quote]

No. This is not your tween needing braces. This is an grown woman who is supposedly in a partnership with another adult. You are not "the bad guy" saying "Well if you want braces so your adult teeth don't fall out, I GUESS we can scrap the family vacation. For you." The problem is that she announced she was doing this, rather than saying "Hey, Julie and Laura want to plan a girls trip to Paris in the spring and I want to go; how can we afford this?"

I've taken trips without DH. He's taken trips without me. But if the finances of that were an issue, we would have to discuss, cut back, etc.[/quote]

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