Reply to Grandparents already fighting over who spends more time with newborn

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And I'm only 19 weeks! Also a FTM.  DH's parents are divorced and DH's step mom is a lactation consultant and L/D nurse.  She has offered to take two weeks off work, have us stay with them and help us become comfortable with a newborn and ensure successful breastfeeding. I was really happy about this because I was already worried about the first few days as a FTM. Ive never really been a baby person either.

We told the family the plan, that we will stay at Step MIL's and FIL's first week or so after baby is born.  [b]They are welcome to come over but we feel most comfortable if it's not all day or all at once[/b] until DH and I feel we know more what we're doing.

MIL and my mother are complaining that as the grandparents they are getting left out, and will treat  DH's step mom as the hired help and that they also are experts with newborns (with their youngest baby now 29 years old).

I just can't take the nastiness and fighting anymore. It's only 10 days! Why can't the family agree that this is what's best for a FTM and newborn, there will be plenty of opportunities to love and share this baby and we are lucky we have this knowledge in the family!

Any advice? 
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[b]So you can be with SMIL all day for the first week- but your own mother and his own mother aren't supposed to stay too long?

Are you grown?  Why the H would you stay in someone else's house with a newborn?  I can't believe your SMIL even thinks this is a great idea?  Is she a certified lactation consultant?  She should be used to being around PP women and know that this is terrible.  Your mom and MIL know this and that is why they are unhappy.  Once you have this baby you will understand how this is a mess.[/b]
[/quote]

+1   Your mother and MIL have already warned you that staying with your step MIL is going to cause Grandma dynamics.

If you want to be in charge now that you are going to be a new parent,  then [b]you[/b] need to set boundaries for visits, for help and for privacy.   There is no need for you to have all of them in your apartment non-stop unless you are afraid to speak up.  It sounds like you are used to letting them dominate.  You are going to be a new mom and now  you get to be the authority figure.  
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