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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What exactly does your friends death have to do with dating men?[/quote]

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Grief is so emotionally draining, it makes it impossible to even see outside yourself. You simply don't have it to give. I completely understand why you would stop dating and totally get your frustration at the idea of giving time to men or anyone who isn't able to offer you significant support.

It's unrealistic to think that you could date right now. My god, take that off your plate for the moment. You should not feel any pressure to "get back out there."

Grieve. In our culture, we give family and friends the time between death and the funeral to mourn. That's it. And it's completely ridiculous. The Jewish tradition gives a year of remembrance. Other cultures extend it even further.

I am two years out from experience tremendous loss. It's only now that I am able to walk through my day without a huge effort. Grief absorbs everything. Death is a monster. Please take care of yourself and don't you dare pathologize your experience. What you are feeling is NORMAL.

If you have a religious community, embrace it. Therapy---specifically grief counseling---is a great idea. It really helps by giving your something to do with all of the emotions swirling around.

I just fell down a deep, deep hole. I focused on my children and gave nothing to anyone else. I walked through probate like a zombie. I donated things while weeping for my loss. People understood because of the magnitude of my loss. I say the sudden loss of your dear friend is no different.

Grieve. Take care of yourself. Feel every emotion, then release it. Give yourself time. Time.

I cannot imagine dating while going through this experience. You will change in many ways by the time you're done with the worst part of grieving. The men you will seek out after a period of mourning are not the ones you would have dated before you lost your friend. They'll be better.

Sending you my deepest condolences. Wishing you well on your journey.
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