Reply to How long did it take for you/your spouse to feel balance/normal after an extra marital affair?

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[quote=Anonymous]Year 1 was horrible and I thought divorce was the only option so we separated but did marriage therapy to figure out how we could be co parents. We did individual therapy as well.

Year two was better. I felt a lot stronger and my husband worked his ass off to be the man he wanted to be. He also opened up to his parents about it and having them open up to us about their very similar situation decades before was incredibly helpful. We continued with therapy and I decided I was willing to give our marriage a shot.

Year 3 was much easier - we had a lot of work to do but again, I'm a much stronger person now and I trust myself more. I think that is what people who judge others who work on the marriage after betrayal don't realize: trusting yourself and knowing your own strength is so much more important than whether you can trust your spouse in many ways.

As more time passes you heal, but you have to do the hard work of healing whether you stay together or not. I don't think every marriage can or should continue after infidelity but some can. My advice is that you don't have to decide right away. And find a more supportive forum - DCUM is not that forum and I hardly ever post my experience with infidelity here. There are many great blogs etc and surviving infidelity is a good resource. [/quote]

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