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[quote=Anonymous]In your situation I would run thru the situations like if the 3rd is special needs, or doesn't sleep thru the night, or the pregnancy takes a lot out of you physically how would you do the heavy lifting with the two kids, or it causes a strain in your marriage and you and DH split and this changes your financial situation and ability to be there for the two kids you have ...would you still feel 100% sure it was the right decision to have a 3rd?  If you can't say in all the life gets more difficult scenarios that you still would have no regrets let it go.  If you honestly feel even if things fall apart it was worth it, than I would try to have a conversation with DH.

My situation was different because we did not have the financial resources for me to cut back on work hours or hire a nanny to help if I found 3 to be too stressful for me to handle working full-time.  My DH is extremely hands-on and I wouldn't want to upset that balance by having him take on a 3rd if he didn't feel like he could handle it.  When I ran thru all the things that could go wrong, my desire to have three wasn't so strong that I felt it worth the risk for what we do have.

I also wanted to add that my DH gives the retirement thing as his reason BUT he is talking about retiring older to maximize certain retirement benefits so realistically we could fit in a 3rd. Also he doesn't feel so strongly that he is getting the procedure done so I contend he is leaving the door open for his never been married before much younger 2nd wife to have a kid when he is 55 if I am somehow not in the picture. So I see the retirement and age aspect as less of a reason than the what-if/what regrets analysis I did in figuring how important is this really to me.[/quote]

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