Reply to Served my DH with divorce papers and he was stunned

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[quote=Anonymous]Divorced guy here, and I want to comment on this 'blindside' critique everyone is throwing up.  The first time you actually come out and say "I want a divorce" it is both a reversal of the presumption of the default direction of the relationship and a "blindside" or shock...no matter what has preceded it.

I had told my ex-wife for years that I was unhappy, that certain parts of our relationship sucked, and taken concrete actions along those lines, including counseling.  In conversations about the future and planning, I'd dropped hints.  After 14 years of marriage, she had come to take for granted that I would stick around...[b]take for granted[/b] being the operative phrase (about just about everything).

So yeah, the first time you broach the subject, it's a "blindside" and a shock, no matter what.  I wouldn't go so far as serving papers, although honestly, who the hell does that anyway?  If you have to 'serve' your lawyer gets a servicer to do it for you...I do think it kind of maximizes the shock to have a servicer showing up at your job or front door as the very first indication being quite a shock.  [/quote]

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