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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Unless she told her husband she planned to meet with a lawyer and file for divorce, then she blindsided him. And that's dumb. Super dumb.

The smoothest and cheapest divorces are the ones where the two parties [b]act like grown-ups[/b], come to a mutual agreement to end the marriage, and commit to put the needs of the children above everything. The smartest approach is to try to figure out as much as you can without involving lawyers. If you can pretty much agree on most things, then you can involve a mediator to help move things along. Once both sides lawyer up, you are essentially benefitting the lawyers family and screwing yourselves/your family out of money (lots of it).

This is just such a bad move...unless the op and her STBX were essentially living separate lives with separate accounts and separate assets. Even so, he can still launch a battle over essentially anything...

How old is your lawyer, OP? [/quote]

OP and in our case this was not possible.  His parents also saw what he was doing and mentioned it so it is not some mystery that things were not working out.  You cannot walk in someone else's shoes.  I was so tired of the everyday snipping that I had also seriously thought of getting in my car and never coming back.  We all have a breaking point.[/quote]

No one is questioning your decision to end the marriage. But there is a way to do it that minimizes the potential for conflict ..... and blindsiding the spouse is not the way.

You gain nothing other than possibly some emotional satisfaction from surprising him. But it creates a confrontation - at least it would in most cases - whether the surprised party is the husband or the wife.

Divorces even under the best of circumstances can be acrimonious and what one seeks to do is to minimize the acrimony for the sake of all the parties.[/quote]

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