Reply to I left my toxic marriage- YOU CAN TOO!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is so true OP. So true!!

I get so frustrated when I see vents and stories on here about people who complain and whine how miserable and unhappy they are in their marriages. They claim they are trapped and cannot leave due to the kids or finances or whatever.

Then they say they don't want advice, they just need to vent. Or some even go so far as to ask for advice!! WTF??!!

If I am in a toxic marriage, am being treated like crap every day of my life and am waking up miserable and each day is pure agony, I don't care if I have to sleep in a tent in my Grandma's front yard, I am gone. No man is ever going to take away my pride and dignity and most important, my joy of life.

Like in the Tom Hanks movie "Philadelphia," he says, "Every problem has a solution..." and he was right.

People need to stop making excuses.

If you are in an unhappy marriage and do not leave, then you have no one to blame but yourself.

We do not live in a country that is run by a Dictator, it is a Democratic country where everyone enjoys the freedom of choice.[/quote]

OP here. I appreciate the support. I encourage you to consider the shame aspect. When one is in this kind of situation, even if you do not believe you deserve it, there is a weird sense of shame that goes with it. People come here because its relatively safe to vent. Telling people around me what was happening was the game changer. It took more courage to TELL people than it did to leave! Also, telling people OTHER than professionals was key. The marriage counselor missed so much. They will encourage you to stick it out past the point of absurdity, and they can be manipulated too.

Im just saying that people who appear to be making excuses are actually processing ALOT of information outside of what they are posting about. There are many mixed feelings when it comes to dealing with someone with a mental illness or condition. And when kids are involved you have even MORE of that. So I would caution against blaming a person for remaining in an unhappy marriage- one has to get past the shame, past the fog and decide where the line in the sand is. People who come here need our support. I know this list helped me alot! And that includes the tough love posts!!![/quote]

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